Taking It Into Our Hands
by JessicaLeeGeek0878
Summary: Two girls decide that Christine isn't deserving of two mens affections. They decide to get her out of the picture. ALso, Red VInes anyone? A Very Random Series of Oneshots. Based on the musicalish.
1. Chapter 1

**This is for Sarah. Our plan is finally complete!**

So… the phantom is just chillin' with Christine. He makes her put the wedding dress on and Raoul shows up. HE starts singing like in the movie that came out.

"Do what you like only free he-"

Suddenly, you hear a rather loud tumbling noise. "Shit!" Erik cries, Christine falls into the water. Raoul dives in and brings her out.

"Give her to me!" Erik cries, checking for a pulse. There isn't one.

Raoul begins to cry, when suddenly you hear a loud cry of "We did it!" and two girls suddenly walk out of a mirror.

"Did what?" Erik yells, angry that his Christine is gone.

"We.. umm… found a way into the sewer system!" The brunette one cries.

"Yep! That's it." The blonde one echoes, coming out from behind her.

"Alright then." Raoul turns away from the random people and turns back to Erik. "Well, since she just died randomly, how about we call a truce. You can still rule the Opera House or whatever it is you do with your time and I'll head back upstairs with Christine's body-"

"Her body shall stay down here!" Erik cries. Suddenly, said body burst into flames as a candle had fallen onto Christine's dress.

The blonde one whistled innocently as they looked to where the candle used to be and find her standing there. Raoul gave her a once over. She had blonde hair past her shoulders, with blue eyes. Rather tall. In fact, she was probably only 4 inches shorter than his 6' 0". Her friend, though, was the opposite. She was short, with long, brown, wavy hair, She had blue eyes as well though. He quickly turned back to Christine's burning body, which was starting to reek. He stood up and backed away a bit.

"Life, is over." Erik calls dramatically.

"Aww.. don't be sad mister." The brunette one walks over. "I mean, one person can't be your whole life." She reached out to touch his shoulder.

Erik smacked her hand away. "Get out, you little viper!"

The blonde and brunette hopped on the raft thing and began to float away. But, since this is the musical, they had to sing something as they left.

_"Jess, all that hard work was for nothing." _The brunette sang.

_"Actually, Sarah, I think it was for something." _Jessie, the blonde, replied.

_"But now, we have failed." _Sarah looked at the ground sadly.

_"Nonsense, we have prevailed!"_ Sarah looked up at Jessie.

_"Cus when your sad and down, and you really want to frown… _What do ya do?" The blonde looked at Sarah knowingly.

_"YA BRING OUT THE WALRUS!" _The two girls sang together and burst into obnoxious laughter, but a plan was brewing in Erik's cunning noggin.

"I could take the burnette, and you the blonde." Erik said. "I could always train someone from the beginning, Christine was getting too good."

"Hey!" Raoul called to the girls, whose raft was stuck because the gate was still down.

"Can you both dance?" Raoul asked.

"Umm.. I've taken 10yrs of it." Sarah replied. The blonde, Jessie, simply nodded.

"Alright, which one of you likes darkness." Erik asked. Sarah slowly raised her hand.

"Well, do you want to stay down here?" Erik moved towards her slightly. Sarah, looked at her companion.

"Sure." Sarah shrugged, and the two girls rowed their raft all the 10ft back to where the two guys were standing.

"Would you like to live up in the light?" Raoul asked.

"Sure." Jessie replied. Sarah and Jessie went back to whispering for a while then Sarah turned around.

"I would still be able to visit Jessie, though, right?" Sarah asked.

"Once a month." The phantom replied.

"Okay, I'm in." Sarah said, hopping off the raft. Raoul on the other hand stepped lightly on. He took the paddle from Jessie's grasp and waited for the gat to open. Once it had, he began to row away, one arm around Jessie. She kinda flinched away but then was just, like, whatever when he began to sing.

"What is your real name?" He asked her.

"Jessica." She replied.

"It's very pretty." He informed her.

"Thanks." She blushed slightly but let him row her away.

Meanwhile, Sarah was trying to get the mask of off Erik's face. "Please?" She asked.

"Why do you want to see my deformity?" He asked.

"Because…. I want to! Come on, can't you trust me with this?" She asked taking a step closer to him.

"NO!" HE shouted as se began to chase him around the small dimly lit cave. "Stop! AGH!"

Finally, Sarah used her kung fu powers to knock him to the ground. She took the mask off his face and threw it into the fire where Christine was pretty much ash. "See, is it that bad?" Sarah asked standing back up.

"Yes." Erik grumbled but he didn't bother covering the over side of his face.

AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

**This is pure crack fic.**

**The basic plot, in case its written worse than I thought, is that Sarah and I, once upon a time in Algebra, after I showed her the movie version decided that we should just kill Christine. I would get Raoul and she would get the Phantom.**

**Should I continue with crack fics from other series?**

**Do I dare upload the stories we wrote while in algebra?**

**Should Charity know about this?  
><strong>

**REVIEW!**


	2. RED VINES! A VERY POTTER SPONSER! YAY

**This is kinda A Very Potter Musical (SPONSER!) inspired. Sorry If I offend your precious ears. I mean, eyes. Whatever.**

So, Erik was chilling, being lonely like always, when Christine walked in.

"Hey, Angel of Music, what's up?" She asked. Of course Erik was in the middle of feeling sorry for himself and missing Quirrel so he said.

"Oh, nothing Quirrel. I was just-"

"Quirrel again!" Christine interrupted. "You know, ever since that random blonde girl showed you A Very Potter Musical, you have been obsessively watching it. I think you need to get your act together before I come back down here." And she fled from the room.

Suddenly, Raoul popped out of nowhere. "Heeeeyyyy Errrriiikkkk."

"Shut up you little shit!" Erik shouted, angry that Christine had left him. Immediately, Raoul fled from the room, tears in his eyes.

"Awww…. Now two people are mad at meeeee!" Erik whined, slumping over his organ.

Suddenly, a brunette walked into the room. "My name is Sarah, you want a Red Vine?" She asked, holding one out.

"Absolutely!" HE replied, looking right into the camera Jessie, the blonde, was holding.

"Hey, Here you go good buddy!" Sarah handed him one.

"Oh my god!" Erik exclaimed. "Red vines are, like, my favorite candy in the whole world." 

"Me too!" Sarah said.

Suddenly, the two stood and looked at each other. Sarah moved her right hand, so did Erik. Sarah moved her left hand, so did Erik. They both shouted "I love Zefron more!" At the exact same time. Then stood there, watching each other.

"Where have you been all my life?" Sarah asked, moving closer.

"In the sewers under an Opera house!" He exclaimed, taking another Red Vine.

THEN THEY SANG "IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL" AND DANCED IN CIRCLES TILL THEY PUKED UP ALL OF THE RED VINES! AGH!YAYAYAYAWY!


End file.
